When you love a woman, you want to make her feel special, and little gestures can go such a long way to ensuring that she feels cared for and appreciated by you. It doesn’t matter if it’s a holiday or a regular Tuesday, the little things you do for her will help sustain your relationship even through the tough times.
One thing that is also important to learn is what your special lady’s love language is. Popularized in the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman(affiliate link), knowing her love language — whether it be in acts of service or spending quality time — allows you to know exactly how to keep her “love tank” full. If she really loves receiving little thoughtful gifts and you’re just complimenting her all the time, she may not actually FEEL loved, even if you’re doing everything you can to show her that.
The following gestures are little things you can do to help her feel loved. Do make sure to keep in mind what her primary love language is so you’re focusing on that, but also know that no one minds being shown love in other ways too.
1. Compliment her.
Tell her she has a great butt. Tell her how much you appreciate that she went and picked up the kids from school. Send her a sweet text message telling her she’s going to do great on her big work presentation.
2. Touch her.
Whether it’s a casual grope when no one is looking or a bear hug before you leave for work, do it. Hold her hand. Touch her arm. Give her a foot rub or back rub. Sex is included in this too, but sex is so much more than just the physical act. It can be all of those little things you do to show you desire her, and make sure that not all of your touch gestures are done without the expectation of sex immediately following it.
3. Surprise her with tickets to a show she really wanted to see or a mini-vacay.
While these may not always be possible, it shows you listen. It shows you care. It shows you want to spend some good quality time with her and she matters.
4. Bring home take-out from her favorite restaurant.
We’ve all had those rough days where all we want to do is stay in. Surprise her with her favorite meal, so she doesn’t have to change out of her work clothes to go.
5. Make the bed.
It’s always nice to crawl into a made bed at night. If you want to get REALLY romantic with it, make sure the sheets are totally clean too!
6. Clean out her car for her.
She may be really busy or a total slob, or she’s a mom and spending the majority of her time carpooling, so she’s got goldfish crushed in every nook and cranny of the seats and every square inch of her floorboards. Cleaning out her car for her makes her think about how grateful she is for you every time she opens the door and climbs into that sparkling car.
7. Buy her her favorite shade of nail polish or that stupid little toy she said she liked when you were last at the store.
You don’t have to wait for a holiday, her birthday, or your anniversary to buy her something. It also doesn’t always have to be a big something to matter. It can be just those little things that you know she would like.
8. Write her a cute little note and leave it on her nightstand or in her bag to find later.
Remember when you were in middle school and a girl left you a cute note saying she had a crush on you? You can still have a crush on your lady, even if you’ve been together ten years. Tell her so in a little note that makes her swoon.
9. Pack her lunch for her.
Maybe she’s been complaining lately that she’s going out to lunch too often during work or she’s mostly been eating whatever her kids don’t. Pack her a lunch so she doesn’t have to worry about it. If she likes healthy meals, do that, or make her that mac n’ cheese recipe she’s been talking about making and wrap that up for her.
10. Open her door for her.
Depending on the kind of woman you’re with, this may reflect kindness and respect on your part, or maybe she’s a woman who can open her own door for herself and doesn’t want you to, so be mindful. But the act can convey that you appreciate her and care for her, whether she’s getting out of the car or walking into a restaurant.
11. Do one of her household chores for her.
If she’s always the one to do the dishes or laundry, take it on for her one day. She will love to come home to an empty sink or laundry that’s already been put away.
12. Draw her a bath.
If it’s been a long hard day or just a normal day and she likes taking baths, go ahead and start a bath going for her, light a candle with her favorite scent, or play some soft music.
She’ll come out relaxed and knowing how much you appreciate her.
13. Offer to do one of her hobbies with her.
No couple has all of the same hobbies, so offer to join her book club, go shopping, or go on a long bike ride with her.
14. Bring her breakfast in bed.
This is a no-brainer!
15. Talk her up to others.
Whether it’s a sweet shout-out on social media or at a gathering, let other people know what you love and appreciate the most about her. Let them know that she worked her butt off and got that promotion or that she’s been losing sleep over working a full-time job and taking night classes. You fell in love with her for a reason, and she’ll know you see all of the hard things she does if she finds out you’ve been talking her up.
We so commonly do sweet things like this in the beginning, but it is in the middle of our relationships that these matter the most. You aren’t trying to win her over anymore; you’re trying to keep her in love with you, so incorporate some of these into the beautiful regular old life you share together.