You fell in love with him because he had the sexiest smile and was driven and passionate about excelling at work. Now that you’re with him, it’s easy to let those cute sweet gestures you did when you first started dating fall to the wayside. But incorporating regular easy little gestures will help you ensure that he knows you love him, even when you’re at odds or things are rough.
One thing that is also important to learn is what your man’s love language is. Popularized in the book The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman(affiliate link), knowing his love language — whether it be in acts of service or spending quality time — allows you to know exactly how to keep his “love tank” full. If he really loves getting back rubs and you’re complimenting him all the time, he may not actually FEEL loved, even if you’re doing everything you can to show him that.
The following gestures are little things you can do. Do make sure to keep in mind what his primary love language is so you’re focusing on that, but also know that no one minds being shown love in other ways too.
1. Compliment him.
Tell him he still turns you on. Tell him how much you appreciate that he edged and cut the lawn. Send him a sweet text message telling him how proud you are that he’s putting in long hours at work to try to secure a promotion.
2. Touch him.
Whether it’s a casual grope when no one is looking or a long hug before you leave for work, do it. Hold his hand. Touch his arm. Give him a foot rub or back rub. Sex is included in this too, but sex is so much more than just the physical act. It can be all of those little things you do to show you desire him and want to be physically near to him.
3. Surprise him with tickets to a concert he really wanted to see or a mini-vacay.
While these may not always be possible, it shows you listen. It shows you care. It shows you want to spend some good quality time with him and he matters.
4. Deliver his favorite meal to him at work.
If your man is working crazily, he may forget to eat, so send something to him when you know things are stressful so he doesn’t have to worry about it.
5. Pre-heat or pre-cool his car for him.
On those cold or super hot days, nothing is nicer than getting into a car that’s already regulated the temperature. While he’s getting ready for work or heading out for the gym or the golf course, step out and just turn his car on so he can get in comfortable.
6. Wear his favorite outfit for him.
It’s easy to fall into the sweatpants routine when you’re in the middle of a relationship, so make an effort to slip on his favorite dress or don one of his button-downs. Whether you’re going out or staying in, he’ll appreciate the effort.
7. Buy him that thing he’s been eying.
Since he’s been so focused on doing well at work or handling a personal crisis, he may be avoiding splurging on himself, so take the opportunity to spoil him and show you pay attention.
8. Write him a cute little note and leave it on his nightstand or in his bag to find later.
The act of writing notes has really fallen away. It’s so easy to e-mail or text instead, but actually writing a sweet note shows that you put a little more thought and care into it, and the fact that you’d be hiding it to be a surprise later makes it all the more impactful.
9. Pack his lunch for him.
Again, he may forget to be eating at work, or maybe he’s been trying to stick to an intense low-carb diet and struggling to keep up with it on his busy days. You can give him a break by packing his lunch for him so he doesn’t have to think about it.
10. Take something off his plate.
Men are doers, and many don’t love to ask for help. As his partner, you know when he’s getting stressed or stretched too thin, so step in and see if there’s a way you can help.
Maybe you need to take the kids one night. Maybe he just needs you to call to make an appointment for him. You appreciate him, and you can easily show that by helping him when you can.
11. Do one of his household chores for him.
If you know every week he hates taking out the garbage, do it for him one week. Or if he hates cutting the grass, order a yard service. Just make sure you’re not taking away a household chore from him that he actually really likes.
12. Do something he’s always wanted to try.
If skydiving or something new in bed has been always something he’s wanted to try, give it a go! It may get you out of your comfort zone, but it’ll show that you’re willing to be a partner to him and experience all you can with him.
13. Do an activity he loves with him.
If your man loves working out, join the gym with him, and even if you’re just going to hang out on the treadmill and read a book, you’d be doing it together.
14. Bring him breakfast in bed.
This is a no-brainer!
15. Talk him up to others.
Men don’t necessarily do the best at bragging on themselves, so do it for him! Whether it be because he handled a sick kid or worked his butt off and got a serious commission bonus at work, let other people know what you love and appreciate the most about him. He’ll appreciate that you notice and care enough to share even if he’s the most modest guy.
We so commonly do sweet things like this in the beginning, but it is in the middle of our relationships that these matter the most. You aren’t trying to impress him anymore; you’re trying to keep him in love with you, so incorporate some of these into the beautiful regular old life you share together.